Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
