I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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