is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
