Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
