Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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