So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
