I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
