Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize