YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
