OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The air was thick with penises
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
