Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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