If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
