so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
