Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
