I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
