New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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