hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
