What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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