I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize