I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
