You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
