So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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