I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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