Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
