The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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