i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
