Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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