sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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