i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
