Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Randomize
