I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
