Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
