I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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