True but thats because hes a fetus.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
