I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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