dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
