I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
