I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
