You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
