i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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