have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
