Having a random hookup so left but love u
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
