fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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