She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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