can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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