How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
