I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
