can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
