Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
