I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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