There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
