Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
birth control should be required to get into college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
