I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
