I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
