Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
