my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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